Let the Mash be the Mash!

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Dear  Alumni,

I just saw the beautiful heartfelt appeal about "Let The Mash Be Mash."

I am reminded of a story that Rav Elisha Paul, a Neveh Alumnus, sent me.

"Reb Naftoli Ropshitzer once gave a Drashah about Tzedakah at shul and when he returned home, his wife asked how it went.

He said he was half way successful.

She asked what did he mean by that?

He said he convinced the poor people to take the charity but he didn't yet get the wealthy people to give the charity."

I know that the Rabbis are willing to accept the money, but I was trying to see what I can do with the other half of the appeal.

I want to share with you something I saw from Rav Yissochor Frand in the name of Rabbi Pam,ztl.

The obligation of showing appreciation is stressed by Rabbi Frand on Torah.Org in Parshas Devorim

I instructed your judges at that time, saying, "Listen among your brethren and judge righteously between a man and his brother or his litigant. You shall not show favoritism in judgment, small and great alike shall you hear…" (Devorim 1:16)

Moshe Rabbeinu recounts how he warned the then-newly appointed judges not to show any favoritism that might corrupt the results of a case over which they are presiding.

A recurring theme in the Torah is that personal considerations, especially in the form of bribes, will cause a judge to view one party more favorably than the other.

The Talmud (Kesubos 105b) teaches that bribes don't necessarily have to come in the form of money. Even seemingly minor exchanges can affect the way a person sees things. The Talmud explains, for instance, that even saying nice things to a judge may be a form of bribery that will cloud his judgment.

The Talmud goes on to list several Amoraim who disqualified themselves from a case after accepting favors that we would hardly consider bribery.

The Amora Shmuel was having difficulty crossing a rickety footbridge. Someone reached out and helped him cross the bridge. Shmuel asked this man what had brought him to the bridge, and the man answered that he had a case scheduled in Shmuel's beis din. Shmuel disqualified himself from judging the case out of concern that the favor he had received from this man would cause him to subconsciously want to see this man win the case and inadvertently skew the proceedings to make that happen.

Similarly, Ameimar was sitting in beis din, and a feather flew onto his head. A fellow came over and removed the feather. When he told Ameimar that he was there to have his case heard, Ameimar disqualified himself from hearing the case.

Mar Ukva had an instance in which someone spat in front of him, and another person came and covered up the saliva. The second person had a case scheduled in which Mar Ukva was to be the judge, and Mar Ukva disqualified himself.

The final case listed in the Talmud is with Rav Shmuel bar Yose's sharecropper, who would normally deliver Rav Shmuel bar Yose's share of the produce every Friday. One week, the sharecropper had to be in town on Thursday for a monetary case, so he decided to deliver the produce a day early. Rav Shmuel bar Yose recused himself from adjudicating the case of the sharecropper lest he be affected by the favor of having his produce a day early.

Rav Pam wonders: Were these Amoraim so fickle that the slightest favor could influence their judgment? Can you imagine a dayan misjudging a case because someone helped him across the street or cleaned his hat? Shouldn't an Amora give himself more credit than to assume that he would be biased for such trivial reasons?

Rav Pam answers that this Gemara is not so much about judicial integrity or the corrosive nature of bribes as it is about the extent of hakaras hatov (gratitude) we should have for those who do us favors.

These Amoraim weren't fickle; they took people's favors more seriously than we do. To us, such favors might be so insignificant that they don't even register on our radar screens. But people who have worked on appreciating what others do for them consider these "minor" kindnesses worthy of so much gratitude that it might skew their judgment.

Rav Pam goes on to show how many of the problems in society today stem from a lack of hakaras hatov.

Husbands take the daily "small" favors that wives do for them for granted, and wives take their husband's favors for granted. Everyone expects the other party to do the chores and errands they usually do because "it's his (or her) job."

If each spouse would take favors as seriously as these Amoraim did, said Rav Pam, we would have many more happy, stable marriages, in which everyone would feel that they are appreciated for all they do.

The same holds true for employer-employee relationships, and virtually all other relationships as well. If people would look at what the other party does for them instead of considering it a God-given right, they would get along much better.

Perhaps the most compelling example Rav Pam offers is the attitude people display toward yeshivos, Bais Yaakovs, and day schools. If alumni and parents would have the proper hakaras hatov toward the institutions that educated them or their children, they would give generous, ongoing gifts to those schools, and our mosdos wouldn't be in the sorry state of financial collapse they are in. But all too often, the attitude is, "I paid my tuition. I did my job. You did your job. Don't bother me anymore!"

I hope these heartfelt words of Rav Pam go on our heart and enter our heart and we should try to show our hakoras hatov to the best of our ability.

I personally took these words to heart and feel that I must thank profusely the Yeshivah for allowing me to be part of the staff for the last 40 years despite the fact that I cannot fulfill my full obligations to the Talmidim.

Therefore, I donated some small monthly sum.

With feelings of Love and Hakoras Hatov to the Alumni who do their utmost to personify this,

Rabbi Shlomo Price